I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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