The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
