It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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