There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
