Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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