The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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