We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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