Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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