so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
