And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
