I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
