he shaved USA in his pubs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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