My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
