I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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