I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
