May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I puked a lego.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
