that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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