Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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