Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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