Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need to calm my uterus...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
