exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
