Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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