I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
