Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
