theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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