Your tits are I can't wait for
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I want to make a zoo with you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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