You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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