Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think I am morally bankrupt
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
