No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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