She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
