I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
