I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
