Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
