i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
