if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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