my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
