I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
