At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
