he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
