5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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