Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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