your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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