He kissed a someone with a penis
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Boobs speak an international language.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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