Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
