How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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