I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
