...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
