Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
