He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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