I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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