Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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