I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hippo gnu deer
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
