Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
