you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
