I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
