I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
