I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
