he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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