It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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