Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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