Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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