we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
