I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
