I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
