The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize