i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize