So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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