No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
