omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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