I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize