Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
